By Max Wachtel


They say fashion is never finished. Predicting future trends is impossible to do with absolute certainty, but imagining what may happen in the future can help us to prepare for any eventuality. Being on the cutting edge of style is very important to many people, so imagining future trends might help those who wish to do so in staying on the very cusp of fashion.


Full-length sequined robes for men
The recent Star Wars film might assist in the popularity of robe-like garments. They seem to be the casual wear of choice for the Jedis. Cool in summer, warm in winter, the benefits are endless. Robes also feature a huge canvas on which to print attractive designs or attach shiny objects.


Dresses for men being sold in chain stores
The watershed for acceptance in clothing is to be sold in a chain store. When Kmart has an aisle of men’s dresses we will know that they have truly become acceptable in the mainstream.


Square pants with four seams instead of two
In an increasingly digital age, polygonal clothing is set to become extremely popular. Why be happy with your fleshy legs when they can look like squares?


Dada and Wu-Tang style plastic tracksuits
These stylish and extremely cost-effective garments have all but disappeared from stores and markets, which is a baffling mystery given how good they make you look. Some years back these garments were sold at every second market and discount outlet – where have they gone? Has the public appetite for plastic clothing waned?


Genetically modified plants with hat-shaped leaves
Being able to pick a disposable hat to keep the sun or rain off you is an extremely exciting prospect. Countries that have unpredictable weather and tropical climates are ideal locations for growing large fern-like leaves, which could be prompted (with some sciencey genetic alterations) to grow into a handy hat shape.


Biodegradable plastic sandals
One summer can be all it takes for sandals to go out of fashion, so being able to melt down your old ones into a smooth gel after the hot weather has passed would be a supreme convenience. Aloe vera sandals anyone?


Even stretchier stretch fabrics
Adult clothing will be the size of dolls’ clothing before you put it on. A fresh change of clothes for a kid can be folded into a credit card-sized sheet and slid into a wallet or purse in case of emergencies.


A self-massaging jacket
Small vibrating motors woven into the fabric might serve to soothe the tensions brought about by hectic, fast-paced future lifestyles. This jacket may come in handy too if your massage therapist cancels your appointment due to a bad back.


A pair of pants with a wire frame capable of supporting human weight
This frame could be locked into place when the wearer feels like a sit down, creating an impromptu chair that nobody can steal.


Obviously if any of these items come out, we’ll know where they got the idea. Any clothing developers who read this are free to take these ideas and do with them as you will. Any clothing wearers who see these items in stores in the future are encouraged to buy them and reap the myriad lifestyle and attractiveness benefits.


Max Wachtel is a person who enjoys existing, absorbing sensory information and sustaining his life force with a variety of liquids and solids. His favourite activities include being amused.

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