MR. BRUNSWICK’S ILLOGICALLY BLASPHEMOUS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

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By R. P. G.

 
 

I am neither arrogant enough to consider myself an atheist nor am I indecisive enough to label myself agnostic; I don’t see the purpose in trading in one deity’s law for another’s, and converting my worship to any prophet other than myself seems redundant; I believe science answers everything except my illogical fear of evil and I refuse to completely dismiss the existence of both extra-terrestrial life and supernatural presence – have I lost your respect yet?

 

I am a victim of relevance and significance, constantly seeking some sort of cosmic link between random and separate events and, eventually, convincing myself I’ve uncovered one…”

 

What if I told you that I identify myself as Catholic and accept the theory of evolution as fact? Has my opinion lost all validity? I hope so… after all, I am an idiot (one of many), my ‘beliefs’ dictate most of what I do and very little of what I say (hypocrisy keeps me grounded); my guilt is my law and my thoughts are my guilt and, after reading Genesis, it appears to me that our appetite for knowledge is our greatest sin which, for the record, I acknowledge and choose to disregard as blasphemy; I’m afraid of death… like, super afraid of it… like, seriously; I don’t trust priests; I see Satan in the smiles of certain faces and I sometimes see it in my own (ah, the art of seduction); I am a victim of relevance and significance, constantly seeking some sort of cosmic link between random and separate events and, eventually, convincing myself I’ve uncovered one – seeking the hand of God, I guess… a pursuit in futility and an act of pure desperation – people beginning their mornings with the sign of the cross or doing so when passing a cemetery perplex me, as if God’s presence can be called upon with a simple action or hand gesture, as if faith isn’t enough, unintentionally discrediting their entire existence and succumbing to superstition; I don’t discriminate (not even against those that discriminate) so I don’t support every irrelevant and insignificant element of a Roman patriarchy… I am twenty-eight years old, it is two-thousand and fourteen, calling myself Catholic is criminal (Roman Catholicism is to the criminal as Mormonism and Born Again Christianity are to the gullible) and the shame that comes with the title is killing me internally, mentally… psychologically? Yes, the shame…the hand of God, I guess. I’ll pray and, if God really hears, if God really listens, She’ll forgive me.

 
 
 

R. P. G. is a local with a passion for cartoons, comedy and culture. His drinks of preference are Baileys and whatever cider’s cheapest at the time. In his downtime he watches Doctor Who with his mother. He likes salads. Don’t judge him.

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